The Last Blog Here

Dear lord,

This is my last blog here.....today i cried again for Quincey ....and get an mc from polyclinic .....decided that enough is enough .....called him up in Perth .....and realised that his wife is named Julie .....and the real fact set in......no more tears .....what ever should be done had already been done .....one of the reasons why i am closing down this blog ......as in never to blog here ....cos i dun want to continue my blogging about a man , who is never meant for me .....and although how deeply i loved him....i know i have a God .....who gives and takes away....and i know i will continue to live with joy ......a very very strange feeling .....but guess i finally understand .....that whatever that never meant to be will never meant to be .....hope is never too late .....k starting a new blog.....God, thank you for this season of my life ......

Sincerely

Sally (Geok Mui)

Hi hi....dearest God

Dear Lord,
Thank you for today ....no big mood swing .....enjoy teaching the students english....i hope in my teaching of them ....they would come to know you better.....Btw one of the aunties who frequent our center is down with dengue ....and now she is well ....and well, my boss wanted to help her and intend to carry up rituals at home.....lord knowing all these that goes on in the surrounding i live in, how can i by my devotion to you shows that other religions, no matter in what forms .....will not be greater than You.....lord in knowing You till now ....how could i displayed the confidence that i found in You.....but lord , you know my struggles.....so how can i live a victorious life with you.....but lord, i want to continue to give thanks ....becos in all these, i feel your presence with me .....carry me through ......and yes i am madly in love you.....is you who create me in the first place, you know me when i am in my mother's womb .....you know my father and mother, and you chose me to be born to them, to let them know your great love.....guess i want to pray for more wisdom in talking to people about your goodness, lord lead me, as you filled my life with blessedness .....i know i can't live a day without your holiness in me ....help me to trust you for my future where i know, is not me that matters but that of your son Jesus Christ .....preaching and teaching His ways to the people.....living life sole purpose for you, no matter what is the season of my life .....for the reason of the season is found in the living of conforming to the image of Your son.....Amen!

Simply yours
Geok Mui (Sally)

Break Soul ties with Quincey

Dear Lord,
You know I had called Eebin to pray for me ....and re-commited my life to you ....whatever dreams or goals in life is not important as i continued to grow and be transformed by Chirst love have for us .....yes Quincey maybe very important to you....and being so important to you....you know you can't hold him in your mind anymore because you got to be fair to his wife .....maybe, just maybe that in the last life, i had a relationship with him....that is why now i have been so affected ....so i had to cut the soul tie .....btw i hope i won't love another anyhow too....just know that i want to live my life fully for Christ now .....lord i hope ....and because i had make a decision ....i should not have Quincey in my thots anymore .....no more .....enough is enough ....you know that he is not going to come back for you .....and is a truth that you got to accept .....he is happily married so bless him, dear.....and because you have bless him.....you know you will be blessed too.....Geok Mui, Sally ....whoever you are .....you need to let yourself be released of this bondage .....as you know pretty well that you will still live in joy because of the love of God , of Jesus in you, and you know pretty well ....you will continue to love .....and be loved .....now this three remain, faith ,hope and love .......our faith is in Jesus Chirst, our hope is in God Almighty and our love is in our heavenly Father who makes all things possible.....Amen!

Live by Faith - Not by Fact nor Feeling

Dear lord,
a lot ....alot of thots dun know how to figure it out ....to put into words ....but sometimes love is slient.....faith is slient ....being still ......lord i dun know why, thought that my tears had stop ....but why is it coming back.....yes, about Quincey....a person who should died in my heart .....he make his choice .....God why must i keep thinking, thinking won't change things, won't change his decision, let go .....give him have the freedom.....my will to live is gone....but i can't because there is my parents, family and i am going to purchase a flat .....Geok Mui....this isn't worth it ....but this is love , this is grace .....Geok Mui be the sally that you know .....ok....but lord this Sally is the one with Quincey ....a star who becomes a angel ....you wrote your own story .....but lord ....i dun know it will turn up that .....he dun love me at all...not even a bit ....be strong girl ....you have your loved ones , you have a job ....be thankful for all these ,be faithful to the small things then you know you need to do now ....take a step at a time ok??Be happy for Quincey, time will heal the wounds ya .....guess he don't want to see you sad too....guess his love for you is not that of a lover .....lord help me to stop crying ....i am at office leh ....and there is a guy opposite me .....do you want to lose your Job??And go through the terrible times again.....buck up Geok Mui .....Sally without man you can live too ....as christ is preached ....that is most important ......carry on ya!

Why must i treat myself this way??

Dear Lord,
Must i see for myself that Quincey is married to a beautiful lady of his choice then i could let my heart died .....why must i keep on having thoughts of him not married ??What is the use of this .....i thot God give you the revelation of Isaiah 61:1-3.....saying that God will heal your broken heart and you can go forth to speak His words for people....and see you are here, going into the cycle of reminding yourself of that bondage with Quincey.....He never love you and he is married ....he won't come to love you.....dear, be good to yourself and dun make yourself miserable and sad because of these thoughts .....this news isn't new ....is so long, and old .....pray for God's mercy and grace for the nations ....and not for your own failed one-sided so long, old decompsite, love ....ok, got to go God ....

The beauty of Grace is that it is unfair

Dear lord ,

Dear lord, read the title from amanda's blog ....haha...beauty of Grace is unfairness ....how true ....Jesus whose death on the cross wasn't fair ....he suffered although He is sinless ....and well....in my context ....having me loving Quincey and him choosing another is also unfairness ....but i know i must gracefully accept it ....if is your will ,lord ....let me be able to let go ....maybe for this period of time i need to carry this cross with me .....carrying cross means burden....no it means building up our spiritual muscles....remember i had told a story to Qingfa ....about how a man pushes stone all the day because his master had wanted him to move the stone ....in doing it for a long time he saw that the stone had not moved a inch then he went back to his master sadly and said that he had failed ....but his master tell him....look at yourself now ....you had trained yourself to be strong ....in God's sovernighty....there is nothing called unfairness ....but is a matter of His purpose ....well....i dun know what is god's purpose ...my sister's purpose of letting me know that Quincey is getting married ....maybe is something i asked for since ...i wrote in a website forum that if he is married i am able to let go ....maybe God your purpose is to let me start writing again....haha....usually i dun write so much if there is nothing that bothers me....but i need to tell myself to brace up and read more , write more for Christ sake ....and not because of myself .....being christ-center and not self-center .....lord may you enlarge me circle of influence that ....with your love overflowing from me ....i could do much more than ever i could imagine .....raise up the spirit in me ....let your grace flows .....in jesus name Amen!

On my way to work

Dear God,
On my way to work jus now, i saw a young couple....the guy was showing some photos he take on his iphone to his girlfriend ....and later, he was seen lovingly stroking the "horsetail"-hair of his gf ....this scene makes me feel so happy ....haha....surpriseingly i am neither envy nor jealous that God you did not provide me a loving boyfriend ....but i rejoice to see that the young couple in each other comfort .....haha.....so nice right .....there is a part of me that knows that love needs not to be "processed'.....love is giving freedom .....for the person to choose ....and i realised that Quincey had make his choice and i should be very happy for him.....as for Terence ....jus pray that his love with his girlfriend will grow ....remember kelvin once said to me to let our love grows .....i dun know is me who disallow this relationship to grow or is that is him.....well ...well ....Kelvin always remember God loves you ....and you must do your best to live a righteous life....if you ever had a wife ....dun let her down ....be faithful to her .....lord, i wonder who will read my blog ....but lord, i know that in me writing all these here ....is to commune with you .....whether whoever came to read it .....let them read it with open hearts ......maybe they know the persons who is stated ....i hope in their wisdom they know that something is good to keep it to themselves.....it will do nothing good to reveal too much to the concerned persons i mentioned here ......Lord , bless these people that i had written, bless the people who reads my blog and lastly bless the person who wrote all these .....May your name be above all, knowing that is in you and through you that our being and doing glorifys You....Amen!

In You,
Sally (Geok Mui)

He is with his girlfriend at Japan

Dear lord,
Bless Terence and his girlfriend to have a great time touring Japan.....let love grows between them.....no this is not my first thought when Chris told us that he is with his girlfriend in Japan during cell yesterday.....my first thought was sadness .....as i realised that Terence was so much in love with his girl ......but guess i should be happy for him ....is always good to find somebody you could love and love you back ......
Quincey had also found his love .....God, when will i find mine ??Then again...i already told Wendy that if my parents come to know christ and is saved ....i am willing to remain single ....guess sometimes i know although my desire is to be married but lord you would not always answer our prayers we want it to be .....maybe your plan for me is to be a missionary .....maybe jus live a simple life of working ......and when i grow old ....admit myself into a old age home and died there peacefully .....but during this time when i am alive .....i want to glory you .....to honour you ....in ways that i can ......and this include being a good worker, a good daughter , a good church cell member , a good citizen and lastly a good servant of yours ....making wise decisions in using of my money , my resources and my time ......a good steward of Yours.....haha....god funny leh....when i started to write i thought i would cry ....but no leh the joy of the lord is my strength ....and i am built up in my faith to live this life solely for your sake .....Lord, no matter how my life turn up to be .....i will always honour and place you first in my heart .....yes, you are my all in all......Jesus, lamb of God worthy is your name , Jesus lamb of God ....worthy is your name......that is Quincey's song .......and this is Terence's .....Still....Find rest my soul, in Christ alone , know his power, in quietness and trust .....Bless them ....lord let them know your love , that will overflows to their partners ......As for me lord .....As the deer panth for the waters , so my soul longs after thee ....You alone are my heart's desire and i long to worship You.....Amen Amen Amen

Sincerely
Sally (Geok Mui)

Some thots ....

Dear lord,
The thots of Quincey keep coming back to me.....WHY??Why did he not choose me ??Love needs two parties.....and yes i know very well he never have feelings for me....and now he is married .....why am i torturing myself this way.....he will never come back for you .....why are you behaving this way ??Do you think you are glorying lord this way??Why must Quincey choose another....lord what is wrong with me .....i thought you already let him go in 2007 when you accept kelvin.....why must you keep mentioning about him......enough is enough ....if he really have feelings for you he would had came back to find you....but he did not .....and you should know why .....becos love take two .....no point Geok Mui.....why are you so stubborn....guess lord ....i need not hold on to those thots ....to those bondages .....i need to be free in my living daily for you.....bless them abundantly lord .....let their love overflows from each other to the rest .....as for me ....lord heal me .....let me stop looking into the past ....and stop asking questions that are without answers .....Quincey is a free man who can make his own very choices .....he must have his own reasons for not choosing you .....maybe just maybe i am not pretty enough, i am too fat , i am too simple , i may not make a good partner, i am too self-center, i do not have the joy of the lord, guess i make a really lousy partner .....but God i still want to make my life count for you ......no matter how others see me nor value me ....i know i am valuable in your sight ....knowing well that you hold me in every step i take , in every situation i am in and i am going to love you .....no matter what happen ......guess when in the end although i am not love by anyone i know i am loved by you.....

sincerely
Sally

Teach me to focus

Dear Lord,
Lord, you know my mind and my heart ....wanted so much to concentrate on my work but find it real hard ....please help me ....while on my journey to work ....i am jus thinking that God i make a choice ....i choose to love Quincey .....but in the end he is married .....if the person that you choose to love never love you back ....what will you do .....lord , is jus like the people who dun want to accept the message of Chirst love for us .....lord why do you want to give free will....then again without free will ... we will never know about freedom.....lord, although there is no more tears when i thot of Quincey .....but my heart still pains ......guess there is not a need to think of him anymore .....is unfair to his wife .....lord bless their marriage ....as for me lord i am going to own a flat , and i cannot afford to lose this job ....help me to be able to do work .....let me be able to pay for the flat .....another respondisbity .....lord i hope that in the end .....if i am to be single .....i am going to live contented and happy ......my joy is in You.....Amen!

Sincere Sally

New Year Over

Dear God ,
Time really flies .....the three hoildays is over and i am back at work....can't really concentrate, dun really know why .....maybe i am thinking of Terence , maybe about Quincey , maybe about Kelvin....But God why am i thinking of them ......does they make a difference in living of my life now .....i should focus on You.....and in doing so ....becos bible asks us to be good servants then i should serve, work ....as if you are watching and not to waste my energy focusing my thoughts on those guys ......for Terence , he got a gf already so you should not covet ....for Quincey....worse still, he is married now so neither should you thot of him.....as for kelvin.....he never even try to call you .....Sally , Sally .....why won't you jus live your single life happily ....but lord you know i am trying .....i have so many things i wanted to do this year .....pass my tests , do my paintings , try a new jogging route , doing volunteer work and also write more ....read more ....lord there is so many things to do ....and also to do well at job ....god, help me to do my best for all.....in jesus name Amen!

The Simple Sally

How to be natural from now on

Dear lord
Tell me how to be natural from now on ....at cell .....i dun know how to face Terence, how to be the natural me .....perhaps i will let the holy spirit guide me .....knowing when to say what....but mostly i know i will keep very quiet .....no not during discussions but when the group was just talking about things .....and lord a part of me hopes that Terence in his knowledge of knowing me like him .....won't avoid the cell meeting ....i dun want to stumble him.....as what i had told him ....i want him to continue to love his girl .....i hope he knows what to do .....and may You guide us in handing our friendships with each other .....guess lord, you are the one in heaven knowing what is happening to our lives ......lord may you lead and guide us in all we do , no matter in the areas of work, relationships or recreation.....all in all we want to continue to glory and honour you in all that we do ....just a simple prayer to you ....in jesus name Amen!

A sharing,
Sally (Geok Mui)

Lord, is another new week

Dear lord,

Is another new week ....what am i hoping to do for you....lord i just want to continue to be a good worker whom i can work with good productive .....and be able to be very natural with the flow of things ....having the joy of you in me ....letting you increase in me ...and i be hide behind the cross ....yes, emotionally i may not be strong, physically i may be having alot of illnesses , but i know spirtually i am strong in you.....and although maybe emotionally and physically i may fail ....but my spirit will rise up ....knowing that you are strong in me ....knowing that with you i will be more than a conquear .....all i want to do is to continue to give thanks ....to say that you are good ....and i know and i know your spirit lives in me where i will be more than myself ....unstuffed to bless and let people to bless me .....to give and recieve with a heart of thankgiving .....thank you god ....in Jesus name Amen!

Always loving you (Sally)

A lot, alot.....which i know i can't take it anymore

Dear God,
You know there is alot, alot of things in my mind, which i think i can't take it ....talk to people ....pray ....having sleepless nights and taking sleeping pills so that i can sleep to get up to work tomorrow .....why lord what is the reason for this season of my life??Don't you think , i had already done so much so much....and i am tired ....why can't i look forward to a better future .....which i think i deserve it ....but guess i am being self righteous .....continue to stretch....
Terence is serious with his girl, so don't interfere with his choice.....sometimes i know love need to be tough....be strict to yourself .....loving is not self-seeking,dear .....train yourself to do what is good for others .....you have come a long way ....and guess you know which way is best ....don't regret calling Chris....is good to avoid taking rides from him if you feel that is going to do both of you no good .....remember , always remember that our lord's have a plan for you and know that is to let you have good.....and to bless the rest with your blessings .....thank you god.....is always nice to talk to you.....lord help me to be focus .....Amen!

Simple yet wise ,Geok Mui (Sally)

Cell....rocks

Dear God,

Although cell yesterday we did not do much on word ....but we have a good time at Waye's house praying for them.....anyway Chris told us cell is going to multiply....my first thought is that i am so afraid that i won't be with Waye anymore .....surprisingly nowadays i am able to talk about cell....haha....and not something of the past .....like what i do in my previous blog ....then again in this blog too....i had come to realise i should live in the now ....and not the then....haha....hope is not too late .....

Chris remind us that we are children of God, so do we live like princess and prince or beggars .....and he remind us to live a victorious life .....how should we live a victorious life ??Got to see if it get publish....lord sorry becos of computer problems got to stop blogging ....talk to you again....bye ....

Lord tell me how to ....

Dear Lord,
Yesterday ,in the end we did not go karoake but instead we went to science center , my perth brother-in-law said that is not so good ....we have a fun day ....at dinner too...hope my family like the day.
Lord, today i cried again....yes is about Quincey again.....lord i dun know how to let go and let you.....The fact is that is he is married .....and i should move on.....but lord you know i have fears .....fears that i would not be able to love another anymore with this pure love i have for him ....then again would there be another for me to love .....lord ,today pastor pray that may the lord fulfills the desire in our hearts .....and you know i cried and cried because you know my desire is to be with Quincey and that is a desire that could not be filled .....i dun want to lose the confidence i have in you, lord .....then again lord , maybe what you have intended for me is a much blessed plan for me then i could fathom .....i should trust you in my life....lord teach me ....to know how to let go ....not to live in world view but to know my heavenly places in you ....that although i am here physically but my place is in the spiritual realm where Christ is .....where i know that there is eternal joy .....knowing that i should not stubbonly hold on to the bondages or the idols in my life .....yes lord , let my life reflect that of your glory ,of your grace, of your mercy ,of your goodness .....sometimes i jus know that everything is going to turn up well.....there is nothing that Lord,you could not do .....as i seek you with my heart ....i know you will make it more than wonderful.....a glorious conclusion in my life.....Amen!

Loving you with a faith of muster seed,
Simple Sally

My first sister is back....

Dear God,
You know that my first sister from Perth is back....and tomorrow we are going to have karaoke at Partyworld at Clementi, followed by a dinner at Sakura at Omin Theatre with our 24 strong family members.....amazing ....my dad and mom is amazing ....they raise us up and now my sisters and brother is having own families to raise up .....i hope that our family bond would continue to hold strong ........haha....thank you for this amazing family who gives me support and love .....without them i dun know where will i be now .....
Wanted so much to ask my sister about Quincey....but realised that is jus no use to mention his name again.....he is married .....and leading his happy life and lord, i know i should live my happy life too....but i know a part of me won't be happy at all.....lord was it i love Quincey too deeply or am i jus behaving like a spolit child who is just unhappy because she can't have what she wants ??....yes lord, questions and questions .....but what is the use of pondering over these issues ....does it help glorying you lord ??Lord, there is the people of Haiti who suffers after the earthquake and i am so selfishly clinging on to something that is not worth the efforts ....but lord i just sincerely want to love Quincey with all my heart .....Sally, sally enough of that man, you know he is married ....how can you want to love a married man .....that is a sin.....i know you commited alot of sins ....do you want to continue your sinful ways .....Sorry, God .....i will jus love him in my own ways ....i will not tell him nor do anything drastic......No....that is lieing to God .....stop your nonsenses .......lord, is unfair ....nothing is fair to me why ??Sometimes God i just want to hate you more than anyone .....i dun want to love you .....because you never give me the things i hope i will have ......you keep withhold from me the the people i desire ......lord you are unfair .....feel like beating you up God.....i am just a simple girl with a simple heart and who just want to love someone simply .....isn't this simple enough.....Can't you grant this simple wish to a simple sally.....Why??

Feeling hurt , Simple Sally

A Wednesday

Dear God,
Lord, is amazing how you let things work out in your ways ....you know i had found that work is overwhelming in the morning and when i talk to my boss....he had said what i am doing is the minimum....which i had also believe so ....but inside me i feel that my other two working partners are not doing that much too....and feel so unfair ....i called my mom and a friend ....thank god,that both encourage me in a way that i turn up that i am not negative ....as i go about fufilling my duties in the workplace ....i realised that one of the colleugue actually help me out in doing part of my work....and i feel so thankful....maybe my boss did talk to him to help me or because i had request for him to help and he helped ....anyways of it ....lord i feel that is you who knows what is going on and you help me to not to be negative and be postive ....thus things just flowed ....
When i returned home , Dad and Mom had prepared nice dinner ...Fried rice and cabbage soup ....have a good dinner , play and talk to my niece and nephews ....doing the dishes , then settle down to listen to Pastor Benny Word in a season,been so encouraged by His words .....wonderful working day....could write now becos tomorrow i am on leave to take care of brother's baby....Mom and Dad going to Polyclinic for checkups.....Lord what more do i want ....all i know is that i want to give what overflow from me to the rest .....letting the fragrance of yours be spread .....Yes, although thoughts of Quincey is still in my heart and mind .....but guess there is no use to hold on ....He is already married .....and maybe i am called to be like Paul to live a single life devoted to You,God.....maybe , yes maybe ....

In love with you,
Sincere, Simple, Sweet Sally

Sunday Sermon 27th Dec 2009 Ps 103:1-5

Psalm 103 :1-5 (Notes i written after listening)

5 blessings :-1)Forgiveness
2)Healing
3)Redemption
4)Love and Compassion
5)Provision

Forgiveness (v3) - God forgives our sins , so we need to be humble,not judging others and forgives others too.

Healing (v3)- God heals ,through natural healing , spritiual healing and the workings of doctors and medical professionals

Redemption(v4) -Ps 40 :2-3 ....god will redeem us through all the diffculties we face, and dun forget Christ already redeemed us ....so we are victors in Christ.

Love and Compassion (v4) -God's love and grace always see us thorough , thus with His love shower upon us , we can have great love for our family and friends .

Provision (5) -God satisfies our desires with good things .....sometimes, God does not always provide for us what we want, but rest assured he gives us the best things that he thinks we will need ....trust our Lord.

Wow,God i am so thankful....

Dear Lord,
I am so thankful to you ....i went for my breast checkup and the inflammation burst i need to do an emergency operation, the doctor said is breast abcess, i haven't went for another appoinment after operation so dun know the outcome of what the report is about what kind of bactieria is it ...but lord i pray that i need not go through it again....thank God for Emily who came and be with me before the operation.....is the first time i am operate on....everything is ok....till the dressing of the wound is terribly painful.....and thank God for answering our prayers that the last dressing done is not as painful .....Well....lord just want to continue to give thanks to you for what you have done in my life .....is jus amazing how you have push and pull me through all the tough times .....from physical to emotional to spiritual .....from body to mind to soul .....and all in all you are always there ....listening and givning me the comfort that i need ....lord i just want to hold your word tightly in both my mind and heart ....and most importantly live it out .....just the way You want my life to live out for you....Amen,Amen,Amen!
Share this with the cell group yesterday....dun know have i wrote it here before ....but jus want to utter these words to you again ....to show you that truly you are my rock and councellor ....As long as God, who knows the future, provides our agenda and goes with us as we fulfill his mission, we can have boundless hope.This does not mean that we will be spared pain, suffering or hardship, but that God will see us through to a glorious conclusion.....Lord, see to it that i have a glorious conclusion in You alone! Amen!

Oh time passes so fast

Dear God,
Oh is amazing we are now 8 days into the new year 2010....oh how time really passes so quickly....becos my thinkpad got some problems i could not log on at home to write ....and i had said i wanted to write about one of the sunday sermon....but think i must delay it till i fixed the thinkpad problem before i could proceed....btw God help me to solve the problem ....is becos i had download some virus into the thinkpad.....i wanted so much to get a new laptop if possible but feel that i should not since i am not in need of it (money shortage too)....please help God....
Btw i am seeing a doctor at SGH later for my breast problem....the condition has worsen....it turn all reddish, swollen and in pain .....terrible....lord, pls let the doctor do the best for my condition ....may he be able to cure it....and lord i believe that You will be able to heal me .....lord i just want to put my faith in You.
Lord, i want to thank you ....for allowing me to complete my work good and earilier on time .....is just like i enjoy every minute of my life now....work , family , friends and all.....lord i have come to a stage that i am comfortable with everything.....and lord should i be looking into furthering my studies so that it enrich my life....not only that, you know i wanted to have qualifcations so that people recognized my work.....then again , i am questioning myself ....whether is this important to me .....why not i just enjoy what i have now ....and continue to do my best ....lord ...i pray that in time to come you show me which path to take ....Amen!
Btw, lord i was just asking myself this question about what is the most important thing you cannot afford to lost when you are faced with the situation that you are losing everything you have ......so i think....Sally thinks....Geok Mui thinks .....and all three of us agreed that i cannot afford to lose my faith in you ....actually when the first thought comes to me ....i think is my family .....but then when i consider it again.....my family may not be there for me always ....my parents will one day will pass away.....my sisters and brother would have their own family to care ......and i come to acknowledge .....whether i am rich or poor, God you will continue to love and care for me ....thus my faith and love in you should not waver ....no matter what happens to me in the end.....i know and i know that God, you will never forsake or leave me .....and all i want to do is to worship and give thanks to you alone .....
Loving You Greatly , Geok Mui (Sally)