Sunday, February 28, 2010

Why must i treat myself this way??

Dear Lord,
Must i see for myself that Quincey is married to a beautiful lady of his choice then i could let my heart died .....why must i keep on having thoughts of him not married ??What is the use of this .....i thot God give you the revelation of Isaiah 61:1-3.....saying that God will heal your broken heart and you can go forth to speak His words for people....and see you are here, going into the cycle of reminding yourself of that bondage with Quincey.....He never love you and he is married ....he won't come to love you.....dear, be good to yourself and dun make yourself miserable and sad because of these thoughts .....this news isn't new so long, and old .....pray for God's mercy and grace for the nations ....and not for your own failed one-sided so long, old decompsite, love ....ok, got to go God ....

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The beauty of Grace is that it is unfair

Dear lord ,
Dear lord, read the title from amanda's blog of Grace is unfairness true ....Jesus whose death on the cross wasn't fair ....he suffered although He is sinless ....and my context ....having me loving Quincey and him choosing another is also unfairness ....but i know i must gracefully accept it ....if is your will ,lord ....let me be able to let go ....maybe for this period of time i need to carry this cross with me .....carrying cross means it means building up our spiritual muscles....remember i had told a story to Qingfa ....about how a man pushes stone all the day because his master had wanted him to move the stone doing it for a long time he saw that the stone had not moved a inch then he went back to his master sadly and said that he had failed ....but his master tell him....look at yourself now had trained yourself to be strong God's sovernighty....there is nothing called unfairness ....but is a matter of His purpose ....well....i dun know what is god's purpose sister's purpose of letting me know that Quincey is getting married ....maybe is something i asked for since ...i wrote in a website forum that if he is married i am able to let go ....maybe God your purpose is to let me start writing again....haha....usually i dun write so much if there is nothing that bothers me....but i need to tell myself to brace up and read more , write more for Christ sake ....and not because of myself .....being christ-center and not self-center .....lord may you enlarge me circle of influence that ....with your love overflowing from me ....i could do much more than ever i could imagine .....raise up the spirit in me ....let your grace flows jesus name Amen!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

On my way to work

Dear God,
On my way to work jus now, i saw a young couple....the guy was showing some photos he take on his iphone to his girlfriend ....and later, he was seen lovingly stroking the "horsetail"-hair of his gf ....this scene makes me feel so happy ....haha....surpriseingly i am neither envy nor jealous that God you did not provide me a loving boyfriend ....but i rejoice to see that the young couple in each other comfort nice right .....there is a part of me that knows that love needs not to be "processed' is giving freedom .....for the person to choose ....and i realised that Quincey had make his choice and i should be very happy for for Terence ....jus pray that his love with his girlfriend will grow ....remember kelvin once said to me to let our love grows .....i dun know is me who disallow this relationship to grow or is that is him.....well ...well ....Kelvin always remember God loves you ....and you must do your best to live a righteous life....if you ever had a wife ....dun let her down faithful to her .....lord, i wonder who will read my blog ....but lord, i know that in me writing all these here to commune with you .....whether whoever came to read it .....let them read it with open hearts ......maybe they know the persons who is stated ....i hope in their wisdom they know that something is good to keep it to will do nothing good to reveal too much to the concerned persons i mentioned here ......Lord , bless these people that i had written, bless the people who reads my blog and lastly bless the person who wrote all these .....May your name be above all, knowing that is in you and through you that our being and doing glorifys You....Amen!

In You,
Sally (Geok Mui)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

He is with his girlfriend at Japan

Dear lord,
Bless Terence and his girlfriend to have a great time touring Japan.....let love grows between this is not my first thought when Chris told us that he is with his girlfriend in Japan during cell first thought was sadness i realised that Terence was so much in love with his girl ......but guess i should be happy for him always good to find somebody you could love and love you back ......
Quincey had also found his love .....God, when will i find mine ??Then again...i already told Wendy that if my parents come to know christ and is saved ....i am willing to remain single ....guess sometimes i know although my desire is to be married but lord you would not always answer our prayers we want it to be .....maybe your plan for me is to be a missionary .....maybe jus live a simple life of working ......and when i grow old ....admit myself into a old age home and died there peacefully .....but during this time when i am alive .....i want to glory you honour you ways that i can ......and this include being a good worker, a good daughter , a good church cell member , a good citizen and lastly a good servant of yours ....making wise decisions in using of my money , my resources and my time ......a good steward of Yours.....haha....god funny leh....when i started to write i thought i would cry ....but no leh the joy of the lord is my strength ....and i am built up in my faith to live this life solely for your sake .....Lord, no matter how my life turn up to be .....i will always honour and place you first in my heart .....yes, you are my all in all......Jesus, lamb of God worthy is your name , Jesus lamb of God ....worthy is your name......that is Quincey's song .......and this is Terence's .....Still....Find rest my soul, in Christ alone , know his power, in quietness and trust .....Bless them ....lord let them know your love , that will overflows to their partners ......As for me lord .....As the deer panth for the waters , so my soul longs after thee ....You alone are my heart's desire and i long to worship You.....Amen Amen Amen

Sally (Geok Mui)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Some thots ....

Dear lord,
The thots of Quincey keep coming back to me.....WHY??Why did he not choose me ??Love needs two parties.....and yes i know very well he never have feelings for me....and now he is married .....why am i torturing myself this way.....he will never come back for you .....why are you behaving this way ??Do you think you are glorying lord this way??Why must Quincey choose another....lord what is wrong with me .....i thought you already let him go in 2007 when you accept kelvin.....why must you keep mentioning about him......enough is enough ....if he really have feelings for you he would had came back to find you....but he did not .....and you should know why .....becos love take two point Geok Mui.....why are you so stubborn....guess lord ....i need not hold on to those thots those bondages .....i need to be free in my living daily for you.....bless them abundantly lord .....let their love overflows from each other to the rest for me ....lord heal me .....let me stop looking into the past ....and stop asking questions that are without answers .....Quincey is a free man who can make his own very choices .....he must have his own reasons for not choosing you .....maybe just maybe i am not pretty enough, i am too fat , i am too simple , i may not make a good partner, i am too self-center, i do not have the joy of the lord, guess i make a really lousy partner .....but God i still want to make my life count for you matter how others see me nor value me ....i know i am valuable in your sight ....knowing well that you hold me in every step i take , in every situation i am in and i am going to love you matter what happen ......guess when in the end although i am not love by anyone i know i am loved by you.....


Teach me to focus

Dear Lord,
Lord, you know my mind and my heart ....wanted so much to concentrate on my work but find it real hard ....please help me ....while on my journey to work ....i am jus thinking that God i make a choice ....i choose to love Quincey .....but in the end he is married .....if the person that you choose to love never love you back ....what will you do .....lord , is jus like the people who dun want to accept the message of Chirst love for us .....lord why do you want to give free will....then again without free will ... we will never know about freedom.....lord, although there is no more tears when i thot of Quincey .....but my heart still pains ......guess there is not a need to think of him anymore unfair to his wife .....lord bless their marriage for me lord i am going to own a flat , and i cannot afford to lose this job me to be able to do work .....let me be able to pay for the flat .....another respondisbity .....lord i hope that in the end .....if i am to be single .....i am going to live contented and happy joy is in You.....Amen!

Sincere Sally

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

New Year Over

Dear God ,
Time really flies .....the three hoildays is over and i am back at work....can't really concentrate, dun really know why .....maybe i am thinking of Terence , maybe about Quincey , maybe about Kelvin....But God why am i thinking of them ......does they make a difference in living of my life now .....i should focus on You.....and in doing so ....becos bible asks us to be good servants then i should serve, work if you are watching and not to waste my energy focusing my thoughts on those guys ......for Terence , he got a gf already so you should not covet ....for Quincey....worse still, he is married now so neither should you thot of for kelvin.....he never even try to call you .....Sally , Sally .....why won't you jus live your single life happily ....but lord you know i am trying .....i have so many things i wanted to do this year .....pass my tests , do my paintings , try a new jogging route , doing volunteer work and also write more more ....lord there is so many things to do ....and also to do well at job ....god, help me to do my best for jesus name Amen!

The Simple Sally

Thursday, February 11, 2010

How to be natural from now on

Dear lord
Tell me how to be natural from now on cell .....i dun know how to face Terence, how to be the natural me .....perhaps i will let the holy spirit guide me .....knowing when to say what....but mostly i know i will keep very quiet not during discussions but when the group was just talking about things .....and lord a part of me hopes that Terence in his knowledge of knowing me like him .....won't avoid the cell meeting ....i dun want to stumble what i had told him ....i want him to continue to love his girl .....i hope he knows what to do .....and may You guide us in handing our friendships with each other .....guess lord, you are the one in heaven knowing what is happening to our lives ......lord may you lead and guide us in all we do , no matter in the areas of work, relationships or recreation.....all in all we want to continue to glory and honour you in all that we do ....just a simple prayer to you jesus name Amen!

A sharing,
Sally (Geok Mui)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Lord, is another new week

Dear lord,
Is another new week ....what am i hoping to do for you....lord i just want to continue to be a good worker whom i can work with good productive .....and be able to be very natural with the flow of things ....having the joy of you in me ....letting you increase in me ...and i be hide behind the cross ....yes, emotionally i may not be strong, physically i may be having alot of illnesses , but i know spirtually i am strong in you.....and although maybe emotionally and physically i may fail ....but my spirit will rise up ....knowing that you are strong in me ....knowing that with you i will be more than a conquear .....all i want to do is to continue to give thanks say that you are good ....and i know and i know your spirit lives in me where i will be more than myself ....unstuffed to bless and let people to bless me give and recieve with a heart of thankgiving .....thank you god Jesus name Amen!

Always loving you (Sally)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A lot, alot.....which i know i can't take it anymore

Dear God,
You know there is alot, alot of things in my mind, which i think i can't take it to people ....pray ....having sleepless nights and taking sleeping pills so that i can sleep to get up to work tomorrow .....why lord what is the reason for this season of my life??Don't you think , i had already done so much so much....and i am tired ....why can't i look forward to a better future .....which i think i deserve it ....but guess i am being self righteous .....continue to stretch....
Terence is serious with his girl, so don't interfere with his choice.....sometimes i know love need to be strict to yourself .....loving is not self-seeking,dear .....train yourself to do what is good for others have come a long way ....and guess you know which way is best ....don't regret calling good to avoid taking rides from him if you feel that is going to do both of you no good .....remember , always remember that our lord's have a plan for you and know that is to let you have good.....and to bless the rest with your blessings .....thank you always nice to talk to you.....lord help me to be focus .....Amen!

Simple yet wise ,Geok Mui (Sally)