Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Last Blog Here

Dear lord,
This is my last blog here.....today i cried again for Quincey ....and get an mc from polyclinic .....decided that enough is enough .....called him up in Perth .....and realised that his wife is named Julie .....and the real fact set in......no more tears .....what ever should be done had already been done .....one of the reasons why i am closing down this blog ......as in never to blog here ....cos i dun want to continue my blogging about a man , who is never meant for me .....and although how deeply i loved him....i know i have a God .....who gives and takes away....and i know i will continue to live with joy ......a very very strange feeling .....but guess i finally understand .....that whatever that never meant to be will never meant to be .....hope is never too late .....k starting a new blog.....God, thank you for this season of my life ......

Sincerely
Sally (Geok Mui)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Hi hi....dearest God

Dear Lord,
Thank you for today ....no big mood swing .....enjoy teaching the students english....i hope in my teaching of them ....they would come to know you better.....Btw one of the aunties who frequent our center is down with dengue ....and now she is well ....and well, my boss wanted to help her and intend to carry up rituals at home.....lord knowing all these that goes on in the surrounding i live in, how can i by my devotion to you shows that other religions, no matter in what forms .....will not be greater than You.....lord in knowing You till now ....how could i displayed the confidence that i found in You.....but lord , you know my struggles.....so how can i live a victorious life with you.....but lord, i want to continue to give thanks ....becos in all these, i feel your presence with me .....carry me through ......and yes i am madly in love you.....is you who create me in the first place, you know me when i am in my mother's womb .....you know my father and mother, and you chose me to be born to them, to let them know your great love.....guess i want to pray for more wisdom in talking to people about your goodness, lord lead me, as you filled my life with blessedness .....i know i can't live a day without your holiness in me ....help me to trust you for my future where i know, is not me that matters but that of your son Jesus Christ .....preaching and teaching His ways to the people.....living life sole purpose for you, no matter what is the season of my life .....for the reason of the season is found in the living of conforming to the image of Your son.....Amen!

Simply yours
Geok Mui (Sally)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Break Soul ties with Quincey

Dear Lord,
You know I had called Eebin to pray for me ....and re-commited my life to you ....whatever dreams or goals in life is not important as i continued to grow and be transformed by Chirst love have for us .....yes Quincey maybe very important to you....and being so important to you....you know you can't hold him in your mind anymore because you got to be fair to his wife .....maybe, just maybe that in the last life, i had a relationship with him....that is why now i have been so affected ....so i had to cut the soul tie .....btw i hope i won't love another anyhow too....just know that i want to live my life fully for Christ now .....lord i hope ....and because i had make a decision ....i should not have Quincey in my thots anymore .....no more .....enough is enough ....you know that he is not going to come back for you .....and is a truth that you got to accept .....he is happily married so bless him, dear.....and because you have bless him.....you know you will be blessed too.....Geok Mui, Sally ....whoever you are .....you need to let yourself be released of this bondage .....as you know pretty well that you will still live in joy because of the love of God , of Jesus in you, and you know pretty well ....you will continue to love .....and be loved .....now this three remain, faith ,hope and love .......our faith is in Jesus Chirst, our hope is in God Almighty and our love is in our heavenly Father who makes all things possible.....Amen!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Live by Faith - Not by Fact nor Feeling

Dear lord,
a lot ....alot of thots dun know how to figure it out ....to put into words ....but sometimes love is slient.....faith is slient ....being still ......lord i dun know why, thought that my tears had stop ....but why is it coming back.....yes, about Quincey....a person who should died in my heart .....he make his choice .....God why must i keep thinking, thinking won't change things, won't change his decision, let go .....give him have the freedom.....my will to live is gone....but i can't because there is my parents, family and i am going to purchase a flat .....Geok Mui....this isn't worth it ....but this is love , this is grace .....Geok Mui be the sally that you know .....ok....but lord this Sally is the one with Quincey ....a star who becomes a angel ....you wrote your own story .....but lord ....i dun know it will turn up that .....he dun love me at all...not even a bit ....be strong girl ....you have your loved ones , you have a job ....be thankful for all these ,be faithful to the small things then you know you need to do now ....take a step at a time ok??Be happy for Quincey, time will heal the wounds ya .....guess he don't want to see you sad too....guess his love for you is not that of a lover .....lord help me to stop crying ....i am at office leh ....and there is a guy opposite me .....do you want to lose your Job??And go through the terrible times again.....buck up Geok Mui .....Sally without man you can live too ....as christ is preached ....that is most important ......carry on ya!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Why must i treat myself this way??

Dear Lord,
Must i see for myself that Quincey is married to a beautiful lady of his choice then i could let my heart died .....why must i keep on having thoughts of him not married ??What is the use of this .....i thot God give you the revelation of Isaiah 61:1-3.....saying that God will heal your broken heart and you can go forth to speak His words for people....and see you are here, going into the cycle of reminding yourself of that bondage with Quincey.....He never love you and he is married ....he won't come to love you.....dear, be good to yourself and dun make yourself miserable and sad because of these thoughts .....this news isn't new ....is so long, and old .....pray for God's mercy and grace for the nations ....and not for your own failed one-sided so long, old decompsite, love ....ok, got to go God ....

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The beauty of Grace is that it is unfair

Dear lord ,
Dear lord, read the title from amanda's blog ....haha...beauty of Grace is unfairness ....how true ....Jesus whose death on the cross wasn't fair ....he suffered although He is sinless ....and well....in my context ....having me loving Quincey and him choosing another is also unfairness ....but i know i must gracefully accept it ....if is your will ,lord ....let me be able to let go ....maybe for this period of time i need to carry this cross with me .....carrying cross means burden....no it means building up our spiritual muscles....remember i had told a story to Qingfa ....about how a man pushes stone all the day because his master had wanted him to move the stone ....in doing it for a long time he saw that the stone had not moved a inch then he went back to his master sadly and said that he had failed ....but his master tell him....look at yourself now ....you had trained yourself to be strong ....in God's sovernighty....there is nothing called unfairness ....but is a matter of His purpose ....well....i dun know what is god's purpose ...my sister's purpose of letting me know that Quincey is getting married ....maybe is something i asked for since ...i wrote in a website forum that if he is married i am able to let go ....maybe God your purpose is to let me start writing again....haha....usually i dun write so much if there is nothing that bothers me....but i need to tell myself to brace up and read more , write more for Christ sake ....and not because of myself .....being christ-center and not self-center .....lord may you enlarge me circle of influence that ....with your love overflowing from me ....i could do much more than ever i could imagine .....raise up the spirit in me ....let your grace flows .....in jesus name Amen!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

On my way to work

Dear God,
On my way to work jus now, i saw a young couple....the guy was showing some photos he take on his iphone to his girlfriend ....and later, he was seen lovingly stroking the "horsetail"-hair of his gf ....this scene makes me feel so happy ....haha....surpriseingly i am neither envy nor jealous that God you did not provide me a loving boyfriend ....but i rejoice to see that the young couple in each other comfort .....haha.....so nice right .....there is a part of me that knows that love needs not to be "processed'.....love is giving freedom .....for the person to choose ....and i realised that Quincey had make his choice and i should be very happy for him.....as for Terence ....jus pray that his love with his girlfriend will grow ....remember kelvin once said to me to let our love grows .....i dun know is me who disallow this relationship to grow or is that is him.....well ...well ....Kelvin always remember God loves you ....and you must do your best to live a righteous life....if you ever had a wife ....dun let her down ....be faithful to her .....lord, i wonder who will read my blog ....but lord, i know that in me writing all these here ....is to commune with you .....whether whoever came to read it .....let them read it with open hearts ......maybe they know the persons who is stated ....i hope in their wisdom they know that something is good to keep it to themselves.....it will do nothing good to reveal too much to the concerned persons i mentioned here ......Lord , bless these people that i had written, bless the people who reads my blog and lastly bless the person who wrote all these .....May your name be above all, knowing that is in you and through you that our being and doing glorifys You....Amen!

In You,
Sally (Geok Mui)